Thank you, Jimmy Fallon, for making it impossible to say “Thank You” without that intonation, and imagining lifting a pen in the air.

1) Thank you, FSBOs…

…for confirming that selling a house isn’t as easy as I make it look.

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2) Thank you, open houses…

…for giving me some quiet alone time on a Sunday.

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3) Thank you, weekend…

…for understanding that I don’t have time for you now that I’m in real estate.

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4) Thank you, real estate agent who’s been in the business 28 years…

…for telling me you’ve been in the business 28 years.

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5) Thank you, political yard signs…

…for getting my buyers’ hopes up, only to disappoint them when they mistake you for a For Sale sign.

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6) Thank you, car…

…for also being an office, filing cabinet, and occasional dining room.

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7) Thank you, Zillow…

…for making my client believe her $350k house is worth $575k.

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